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Screens have wrecked society as a whole, but I had to start with my family.

Our decision to go screen-free for the summer was, in large part, fueled by a desire to bring back a 90s summer for our kids. We noted how many children were at camps, or vegging in front of the TV, and we just couldn’t bare the thought of our children missing out on the color of the trees against the sky.

It was also fueled by a recognition that we were using cartoons as a way to pacify our children and that it was creating some unwelcome behaviors in our home. That’s a hard thing to admit. Both that you’re using technology as a parenting crutch and that it’s having a negative impact on your family. If you haven’t read Glow Kids, I highly recommend it.

We are more screenless than screen free.

We are cruising toward the end of week two of our “screen free” summer, and I’m quite happy with what we’ve been experiencing thus far. Does that mean we are totally screen free? No, it really doesn’t. Does it mean my kids (and I) aren’t having big feelings? No, we’re having more intense feelings than we were before. But you know what? We need to release them, instead of numbing them with a device. We’ve gone through some tough stuff in the last few years, and it makes me feel good to know that we’re finally moving through our emotions instead of avoiding them or pushing them aside.

As for our screen time, I allot myself an hour a day (away from my kids). This allows me to get some stuff accomplished (like this blog). I have been working to wean our toddler from the screen during car rides. We keep pushing her longer and longer each drive, We’ve managed to get to a point she doesn’t totally flip her shit until we’ve been in the car for more than 45 minutes. And about once a week, we video chat with grandparents who live far away.

It’s all working out well so far…

Of course, it makes it easier that my kids aren’t really asking for it and have been generally happy to participate. My middle has asked for a few movies here and there, but she hasn’t lost her marbles when I’ve reminded her of what our mission is. My oldest is an old soul and is quite content to make all the crafty creations and destroy the kitchen, and our toddler is a toddler living her best little toddler life, completely unawares that the TV isn’t on. When you take away screens and input sunshine, they forgot they even existed. Overall, the kids are playing better together and apart, and have found new captivation with nature and simple pleasures. I’d call it a win so far.

I, however, am exhausted. I no longer have a break in the middle of the day, and I feel more “on” than I was before. Not that I entertain them all day by any means – but I don’t have any time where I feel like they aren’t going to suddenly call for me. Which speaks to the trance-life effect of screens in the first place. Additionally, I think my nervous system might finally be recovering from my own screen addiction because I am so. tired. all. the. time. It’s a small price to pay for the profound benefits that lie ahead.

So now what?

First, download our tracker.

If you haven’t downloaded our tracker, go ahead and do that. Ignore the logo change. It’s the same me, but we’ve decided to rebrand in the last few weeks. You can find the tracker by clicking here.

Next, make a pact as a family.

Dear everyone, “do as I say and not as I do” is one of the grossest things I’ve ever heard. Don’t say it, don’t do it, don’t even think it. Set the example for your kids and make the screen free summer pact. When you’re together, no screens. If you haven’t heard of “The Opt Out Family,” I encourage you to listen to the podcast linked below. One thing I learned was that you can’t just ask your children to “opt out,” you have to have something for them to “opt into” as well. And that makes it easier for adults, too. Which brings me to point #3…..

Finally, pick some activities and live your life.

Walks / bike rides… sans phone.

Take your kids for a walk or a bike ride and leave your phone behind. Don’t even give yourself an ounce of temptation to take a photo or video. Listen to the birds. Look at the clouds.

Start a garden (or weed the one you have).

It doesn’t have to be vegetables (though if it is, there are so many benefits to that). My kids and I love gardening. We have a pretty robust vegetable garden that we have added to for many years. It’s such fun bringing in a haul of fresh strawberries. If you already have a garden, go weed it. That’ll take a while and you can talk to your kids about what’s a “weed” versus a plant you’d like to be there. Then throw some grass clippings on it to prevent the weeds from taking back over, and you can spend your life doing something else!

Plant an herb garden.

We did one of these this year and I’ve already been loving having fresh herbs accessible to my kitchen. 10/10 Highly recommend. Though do something to protect it from caterpillars because they are not polite garden guests.

Puzzles.

This is more of an evening or rainy day one for the summer months. I don’t care how old you or your kids are, puzzles are always a challenging time. Throw on the actual radio (Delilah, anyone?) and get to it! I can’t tell you how many amazing conversations have come up with my husband over the nonsensical shit we hear on Delilah!

Games.

The family that plays together, stays together! We have a dedicated game night every week and it has probably saved my family culture from imploding.

A beach day!

Take a day trip!

Road trips don’t have to be multi-day. Every day trip or outing matters. That’s what this blog is all about. Because nobody remembers their best day spent scrolling. Find something that looks interesting to you, and go do it! I’ve got river tubing on my list for this summer, and I couldn’t be more excited!

Read. A. Book.

This is for the parents. I am so so sick of hearing parents tell me they don’t have time to read. Cut the shit. First off, you’re reading this post and I’m sure you’ve spent at least ten minutes scrolling something on your smart phone today. It isn’t a judgement, it’s just reality. If you have ten minutes to scroll, you have ten minutes to pick up a book and read something that’ll expand your mind. It can be whatever genre you like. Parenting? Great. Self-help? Fantastic. Trashy romance? Awesome. Mysteries? Very cool. Psychological thriller? Not my thing, but you catch the drift. Just go to your local library, tell the librarian what you like, and (are you ready for it?) READ WHATEVER THEY SELECT FOR YOU. It’s that easy! Then, start yourself a Goodreads account, login the books you read and liked (or didn’t), and let Goodreads’ algorithm do the work. But that counts toward your one hour of screen time, so be mindful!

Start a series.

There are so many benefits to reading aloud to your children, no matter how old they are. If your kids are old enough to read on their own, it’s worth starting a new series together. They can then read the rest independently, or together. My favorite time of day is snuggling up with my kids to read.

Visit with friends.

This. And not in a scheduled-has-to-be-a-thing sort of way. Just in a hey-I’m-swinging-by-just-because way. Ever since the internet and hustle culture arrived, there just isn’t enough of that going on! My bestie and I were so good at that during high school and college. Unfortunately, we live about 90 minutes apart now, but if it were half that distance, we’d still be up to these types of visits. We still reminisce about them even 15 years later!

Scooter / Roller Skate / Skateboard

My middle loves her scooter. We had roller skate lessons the other day. It definitely didn’t help my back, but the kids seemed to thoroughly enjoy it.

Have a bonfire…

Check your local ordinances and get to it! Invite a friendly neighbor or some friends you don’t spend enough time with. You’ve got to find your people.

And make S’mores.

Because you cannot have a bonfire without s’mores. We recently bought this little carrying container to make S’more making easier. Pinterest made me do it. Try a new s’mores recipe or stick to a tried and true. I don’t know anyone that doesn’t like toasty marshmallows!

Chase lightning bugs!

You. Guys. In New England, we get a few here and there but they aren’t nearly as prolific as down south. I went to Virginia in the summer last year and I had forgotten how magical evening is in the south. You just can’t have a 90s summer without teaching your children how to catch lightning bugs or fireflies or whatever the eff you call it where you come from. Nature really provides some spectacular activities if we just pay attention.

Watercolors Outside

This stuff isn’t rocket science, but it captivates children like it’s nobody’s business. Open-ended art is meditative and stimulates creativity. I like to pair our outdoor art activities with a read aloud. I’d love to tell you how calming this all is, but I think you should just try it yourself.

Trampoline

Jump. With. Your. Kids. Due to a neck and tailbone injury this last year, I don’t get on the trampoline with them as often as they’d like me to. But I do still pop on and they think they’ve won the lottery.

Trampoline with water balloons or a sprinkler!

Now… If you really want to get funky, add a little bit of water to the trampoline time. When it’s too cool to swim but too hot to jump, this has kept the kids active and giggling! And yes, we have a net.

Free Play!

Boredom is the mother of invention. A parent once said to me “your kids keep themselves entertained so well.” In my head I thought “because they don’t have an adult telling them what to do all the time.” I didn’t say this out loud because I didn’t want her thinking I was judging her. I wasn’t, but the fact remains: children today have their entire lives dictated by adults. Peter Gray discusses this extensively in his book. Which you should read. It’s why children are so often “bored.” They aren’t able to get themselves into their own activities and projects. Yes, I’m providing a list of things to connect with your children, but the reality is that it isn’t your job to entertain or stimulate their brains 24/7. They are allowed to be bored. They need time to think their thoughts. Let them do it!

Try a new subscription kit.

So many subscription kits come with reduced price trials. We recently tried MEL Science for $6! There are lots of craft kits out there that will give kids a creative outlet and keep them engaged for more than 20 minutes. Google one and give it a whirl.

Go for a proper hike.

Pick up meditation.

Also for the parents. Meditation has so many benefits for you *and your family.* I love the Headspace app (which does not count toward the hour because you aren’t actually looking at your phone). One thing that is discussed often is how much meditation benefits *those around us.* When our nervous system is calm, we’re calmer and less reactive. Our buttons are smaller and less able to be pushed. Who would’ve thought?

Go for a sunrise walk.

Last one for the parents, I promise. Man, oh man. This is one thing that has absolutely changed my entire life. I. Love. Sunrise. Walks. Postpartum depression? Completely banished. It might be my favorite time of day. The day is fresh. Most people are still sleeping. I’ve got the whole road to myself. The birds are awake. And there is so much evidence to support how important first-morning sunlight is for establishing a healthy circadian rhythm. And you know what else? Taking that hour in the morning for yourself ensures that you’ve had some quiet time no matter what the day throws at you. I am a complete and utter -see you next Tuesday- when I do not get my sunrise walks. Just give it a try for the summer and see how it changes you.

The screen free summer isn’t about getting rid of technology.

It’s about putting it in its proper place. Technology isn’t meant to be interwoven into every part of our lives. Texting isn’t meant to take the place of phone calls and social networks aren’t meant to replace in-person interactions. It’s no wonder we are so depressed on a whole, even though we are “more connected” than we’ve ever been. It’s because we aren’t actually connecting. The Screen Free Summer is about sending a season resetting our nervous systems and our relationships so that we can opt-out of the unhealthy relationships we all have with screens, while opting into the relationships that truly nurture our souls and make life worth living. So let’s get to it.