Stop Wasting Time at Disney: Avoid These 5 Mistakes

5. NOT RESEARCHING TAKEOUT OPTIONS BEFORE OUR TRIP

Those eighteen months of research included literally hundreds of hours researching the best places to eat. I spent days combing through The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World reviewing statistical analyses of each restaurant, planning our days according to the Undercover Tourist crowd calendar, looping back to TouringPlans to determine where we’d be and when based on their recommended flow paths (this all occurred pre-Genie launch). Our plans looked more like something from a true crime detective series than a family vacation in progress. We did all the things with food in mind – including booking a DVC Vacation Club rental through Dave’s so we could save money on food on the days we decided not to tour. But the one thing I didn’t even consider looking into? Takeout. Let’s be real – when we arrived at our condo-style room, I was more than happy to prepare breakfast and pack lunches/snacks in our bento boxes. Still, I had absolutely zero desire to prepare dinner for our traveling party, which consisted of seven people. Not pre-researching takeout options proved to be a gigantic waste of our vacation time. Have you ever sat down to watch a movie with your significant other, scrolled through fifteen movies, and watched just as many trailers, only to throw in the towel and watch trashy TV because you’re so overwhelmed? Yeah. That happened. ON OUR VACATION! Usually, with little people that needed to be fed an hour ago and chewing through time, we could have otherwise enjoyed the pool or done literally anything else. Don’t do it. Don’t make that mistake. If you’re headed to Disney soon, find at least two takeout places you’d like to try (and that your traveling party will likely eat), then do yourself a *flavor* and save it in Google Maps. Don’t spend a single second more than you must navigating your phone. Life is for living.

4. HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS

Every park is not for every person and Hollywood Studios is definitely not for me. In the slightest. Hollywood Studios was both overwhelming and underwhelming all at the same time. It honestly reminded me of a giant concrete parking lot. Maybe it was the fact that my youngest (10 months at the time) had a MASSIVE blowout in the security area on the way out, but yeah. No thanks. Let’s start with the fact that there were virtually no rides. There were seven. Total. Our crew only qualified for one due to height requirements. There were also miscellaneous shows, some of which were closed and others we just couldn’t make due to time constraints with naps. We did go into the Disney Junior Play and Dance and I could not have been more skeeved out. They had everyone sitting on the floor. Listen. I know Disney does a good job of cleaning and those Imagineers are hard at work every night. But are they disinfecting the floor? Probably not. I’ve seen enough clean room floors in my day to know that even THOSE are disgusting, forget a place where people have been traipsing through airports and walking around Orlando and then onto that floor. It’s amazing that the show hasn’t been a super spreader for any and all types of childhood diseases. Skeeve aside, I felt like the show was a high-speed conveyor belt – like I Love Lucy at the Chocolate Factory. We were barely in there for twenty minutes total, long enough to pick up a communicable disease, but not long enough for my kids to get comfortable and enjoy the show.

My takeaway is Hollywood Studios is great for character meet and greets that you can’t get elsewhere (IE Olaf, as well as Disney Junior characters like Fancy Nancy, Doc, and Vampirina), but that’s about it. From all the reviews I’ve read, the dining is terrible and since there just aren’t that many other rides, it’ll be a hard pass for my crew this time around. If you absolutely must go, go toward the end of your trip and plan for a two or three-day incubation time, so your kids are getting sick when they get home, as opposed to mid-trip or during your flight.

3. NOT BUYING A PARK HOPPER PASS

Let’s start with how INSANE park tickets are and some basic park math. For one day at Magic Kingdom, you’re looking at $159.00 for the day, just for entry. Disney is gracious enough to discount you $5 for children, so kids 3-9 enter for $154.00, despite not being able to access more than half the rides.

Obviously, with these prices, you would want to take advantage of every ride, attraction, and parade. And with good reason! But all the books tell you to go back to your hotel to “take a rest.” I think – yeah – you should absolutely do this. But I don’t think it’s reasonable to suggest or expect that a bunch of kids (and parents) will feel up to traipsing back to that park for the day. For example, we stayed at Beach Club (review coming soon). Beach Club is 13 minutes from Magic Kingdom. We had three children ranging in age from 0-5, which require strollers, Bento boxes, multiple water bottles, two coolers, a diaper bag, and multiple car seat checks. My husband and I are basically ninjas at this point, but by the time we pack, unload, and get moving, we’ve added an extra fifteen to thirty minutes to our day. Then to go “rest,” we need to do the same in reverse. At this point, we are up to ninety minutes in shuffling and commuting. And yeah, I guess we could’ve taken a Minnie Van or whatever flavor of the day public transit is available (thereby avoiding the car seat checks) – but I am not trying to torture the driver and other patrons with my children who are some combination of overwhelmed, exhausted, and hungry. If you’ve never felt the urge to hitchhike on an unknown highway in the middle of the day in Florida – I assure you, being trapped with my kids in that situation would, at minimum, have you considering your options. The point I’m making with this is there is far too much money on the line to waste an hour or two or three commuting to parks for a midday rest OR powering through and not enjoying them. Staying somewhere like Beach Club, I would rather tour for one day less and get to enjoy the whole day than spend the extra money on another half or three-quarter day. This way, we have the option of abandoning ship midday, getting a reprieve from the parks, and still going to Epcot for dining and fireworks in the evening. Then, when my kids are tired and cranky, I can walk our carcasses back to the hotel before one of my kids gets us banned from Disney before they’ve graduated kindergarten.

2. SPENDING LESS THAN TWO DAYS AT MAGIC KINGDOM

Why I thought this was a good idea is beyond me. I think I figured: this may be a once-in-a-lifetime trip, so let’s see as much as we can. Wrong. We didn’t end up seeing much of anything at Magic Kingdom. We decided to do Magic Kingdom on Day 1. I do not recommend this. It’s good to do something lower-key and less “high stakes,” if you will, before attempting Magic Kingdom. The reason for this is primarily so you can get a feel for the My Disney Experience app in a less chaotic environment. My husband has a degree in computer engineering and works with complicated validation software and probes and gigantic steam sterilizers on a daily basis. It took him a minute to understand how to best navigate My Disney Experience. And by a minute – I mean the entire day at Magic Kingdom plus a few hours in the evening so we could salvage our vacation. My recommendation? Spend AT LEAST two days at Magic Kingdom, if not three. Lines are crazy and even with a crowd calendar and touring plans, there is still a lot to see and do.